


One Way to a Cliche

by VividlyLost



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Dorks, F/M, Fluff as hell, Friends With Benefits, Friends to lovers to official lovers?, Tropes, these are some dense motherfuckers alright, you get a trope and you get a trope and everyone gets a trope
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-09
Updated: 2018-06-09
Packaged: 2019-05-20 01:18:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,974
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14884892
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VividlyLost/pseuds/VividlyLost
Summary: What happens when you and your friend enter into a no expectations, friends with benefits relationship out a need to find release and heal some broken hearts?A one way trip to cliche town ladies and monsters.





	1. Deal

**Author's Note:**

  * For [nighttimelights](https://archiveofourown.org/users/nighttimelights/gifts).



> This is a gift for the wonderful and beautiful and amazingly talented and exceedingly kind Night. I gave her the first chapter on her birthday some weeks ago, and now that it is nearly done, it is time to post it here for everyone else.
> 
> I love you Night!

You and your friends had come to the conclusion a long time ago that nothing exciting ever really happened in your hometown.  Not that that was a bad thing mind you, more of just a statement of fact. Yet, it was this fact that had driven the three of you to travel as far from home as you could for school, and in your case, you never really intended to return, but when opportunity knocks you don’t look a gift horse in the mouth.  So you returned to your hometown, it being much more the booming metropolis than you quite remembered, and settled in to the familiar.

 

Never in a million years would you have even dared hope that your friends moved back as well.  That would have been an exercise in wishful futility really. So when you ran into Kyle at the grocery store, and Hailey at the craft store, you could only chalk it up to luck.  It didn’t take long for the three of you to reconnect and subsequent hours were spent regaling each other with stories from your time away from the city.

 

Months later, while the three of you were hanging out and catching up on a show you had managed to suck them into, the mountain opened up.

 

You used to say that nothing exciting ever happened in your town.  

 

With the mountain open and the monsters filtering into the streets, Hailey decided to finally quit her job at the insurance office.  It had been something that she had talked about wistfully since you had reconnected, and it was clear that she was miserable. There was just something so draining about being behind a desk, pushing papers and taking calls that ate at her.  The one plus about that job though was the fact she had managed to save enough to go to culinary school instead, and her mood wasn’t the only thing that improved from this endeavor; so too did your diet.

 

A couple of years later Hailey graduated as the top chef of her class, and had barely left the school before she was approached with a job offer to the recently opened MTT Resort Restaurant.  The resulting scream that you unleashed upon hearing the news left Kyle swearing that if he lost his hearing, he was sending you the bill, but it was clear he was happy for Hailey as well.

 

That evening you and Kyle decided to take Hailey out to celebrate, and what better place to take her than the monster bar that you had been hearing about.  It came highly recommended from nearly anyone that wasn’t a blowhard and you had been wanting to check it out for a while now. Once Hailey heard about where it was exactly that you were taking her she lit up and excitedly asked, “Do you think anyone I’ll be working with will be there?”   Of course you had no fucking clue, but there was a higher chance there than anywhere else.

 

When the three of you entered the bar you were met with what had to be the most pleasant cacophony of sounds you had ever heard.  Monsters and humans alike occupied tables and booths together, and very few people seemed to be uncomfortable in this environment. The space was bright, unlike the places you usually frequented.  If ever you could call a bar homey, this would be it.

 

Your eyes darted around trying to drink up the sights as you made your way to the bar, sliding into a space that a couple of monsters left open as they took their order of burgers and drinks back to their table.  Hailey froze mid step from a stool at the bar, causing you to bump into her and push her into the bartop.

 

“Wha-,” you said looking from her face to where she was staring.  “Well hot damn,” you muttered appreciatively and heard a snort from nearby.  Hailey was staring at the human shaped bonfire of a bartender, seemingly at a loss for words.  Or so you thought until -

 

“Why doesn’t the alcohol go up in flames?”  she asked, eyes almost squinting as she watched him pour a drink.  

 

“Would you believe me if I said….. _ magic _ ?” Kyle said, wiggling his fingers in the shape of a rainbow.  Hailey flicked his forehead and waved down the bartender, and no, you weren’t surprised that the first thing out of her mouth was the same question she had just asked the air moments ago.  You were surprised when he gave the exact same answer that Kyle had. You wheezed, gripping the bar top as you climbed atop your stool next to Hailey.

 

“c’mon grillbz, don’t be cold.  least she asked outright.” You looked towards the man beside you and blinked.  It wasn’t that you were particularly surprised to see a skeleton beside you  ~~ yes you were ~~ ~~,~~ it was more the fact that you’d seen this particular one in the park rather often selling hot dogs.  You’d never interacted with him before, and clearly you had been missing out.

 

“Is that even possible?”  you asked. “It seems like he might be temperaturely challenged.  Not that being hot was ever a bad thing,” you said, biting your lip to keep from laughing at the expression the bartender gave you, and failing when the skeleton monster snorted again.

 

“OHMYGOD!”  Hailey put her face in her hands.  Laughter bubbled up from the four of you at the bar and even the bartender seemed to chuckle, shaking his head.  Kyle put his arm around Hailey’s shoulders and shook her gently to get her to look up at the curious expression of the bartender and her face reddened.  Not one to stay down for long, she crossed her arms on the bar and ordered the first round of drinks. Her expression was one of amusement when the drink that was set before her was flaming on top.  “Oh very clever aren’t we?”

 

A very prominent smirk played over the flames of his face and you leaned towards your new companion to whisper, “wonder if he ever gets hot under the collar,” making him choke on his own drink.  Before he could respond you shared a look with Kyle, leaned over quickly and hugged Hailey around the waist while Kyle hugged her around the shoulders. “CONGRATS, LEE!” You both shouted, making her jump and turning her face an even deeper shade of red.  You planted as large and messy a kiss on her cheek as you possibly could and pulled back, leaving her to scrub at the lipstick mark left on her skin.

 

“Oh come on, really?”  she asked, laughing all the same.

 

“What about me?” Kyle asked, affronted.

 

“You graduate top of your class and then get a helluva job out the gate and I’ll cover you in so many kiss marks your parents will start asking when the grandchildren will arrive,” you swore.  Kyle’s face paled.

 

“Don’t you dare,” he said.  You and Hailey laughed, blowing him a kiss each.  Kyle lifted his glass and drained half of it in one go.

  
  


Very quickly you learned that the bartender’s name was Grillby and your skeleton companion was named Sans, and just as quickly you and your friends found yourselves in as familiar a conversation with them and the surrounding monsters as if, you too, were regulars here.  Hailey unleashed a number of questions on Grillby, the poor man, and he answered them, in a way. He seemed to enjoy giving her vague responses that left her frustrated. At least up until she asked if he ever used his flames to cook with, and that was when they lost you.  Lost you, and made you incredibly hungry. Kyle switched seats with Hailey and the two of you shared an order of fries.

 

You learned that Sans fashioned himself a bit of a jokester.  Enough so that Kyle, usually one for good banter, found himself quickly outmatched.  Of course, that only made you that much more determined to beat Sans at his own game, and you held your own.  The people around the two of you, including Hailey and Grillby, stopped talking to witness your attempt to defeat the local pun master; and witness they did.  Everyone witnessed your brutal defeat, and you stubbornly challenged him to outdrink you instead. 

 

“sore loser, eh?” Sans said with a chuckle.  His hand was under his chin, propping up his head as he raised a bone brow at you.  

 

“Are you?  Cause this shouldn’t be a problem for you, seeing as it will just go through you,” you said, poking at him.  He swatted your hand away and picked up his drink.

 

“what’re you gonna do when you lose this too?”

 

“Oh kiss my ass and drink, bone boy.”   
  
“bottoms up then,” he said, lifting his glass to his mouth.  You squinted at him and followed suit.

 

_ About 4 drinks and 2 shots later. _

 

“Yea that’s right!  Kiss my assssssss!” You put your empty glass down a little harder than necessary...but it was completely necessary, because Sans hadn’t even finished his last drink and you had won.  He opened his mouth, an ass related pun on the tip of his tongue, and he just couldn’t get it out right.

 

“oh fuck you,” he said, giving up and putting his glass down. That just made you laugh.

 

“Ask nicely.”

 

“hell no.”  Sans moved to slide off of his stool and only landed and stayed standing thanks to Hailey who had moved to catch him in case he fell.  He pointed a boney finger at you. “watch yer rear, kid, i’ll kick yer ass nexsht...next time. fuck.” You put your arm on the bar to lean forward and a loud, long fart filled the air.  You looked down to see a small whoopee cushion was under your arm and you looked back at Sans. His mouth trembled and then you were both laughing like lunatics.

 

“Alright, I think that’s our cue to leave,” Kyle said, only half as inebriated as you were.  

 

“No,” you said, sliding off your own stool to the ground and then leaning into the bar to steady yourself. “Yes.  Home. Good idea.” Kyle laughed and started helping you towards the door. Hailey helped Sans around to the side of the bar to where Grillby was waiting to take him into the back. The skeleton was clearly having a much harder time, because Hailey was mercilessly poking fun at him, and as soon as he passed into Grillby’s care, it was clear the flame man was doing the same.  He nodded to Hailey and she smiled, jogging over to get the door for you.

 

One dizzying cab ride later and Hailey was helping you to your bed.  You’d started to doze off in the cab. That being said, by the time she returned with a glass of water you were barely conscious.  You’re pretty sure you said, “gods you’re the best friend in the world,” amongst a few other sappy and choice words, but you fell asleep before you could ask if you really had said that out loud or if it was in your head.

  
  


The next morning you woke up with the worst hangover you’ve had in years, and you couldn’t even blame Sans.  

 

After getting up and cleaning out your mouth, and drinking about a gallon of water, you climbed back into bed and dug your phone out of your pants on the floor.  “Sorry I got shwasted at your graduation celebration,” you sent to Hailey before checking the messages you had received. One was from Kyle checking up on you, and one was from Sans.  All it held was a photo of a bony hand flipping you the bird. Ok, the hangover was worth it. You sent him an audio file of an air horn and went back to sleep. 

  
  


It was safe to say that you and your friends became regulars at the monster establishment, with the stipulation that there were to be no more challenges of the drinking kind.  Which suited you just fine, because the more sober you were, the more you noticed exactly how hot under the collar the bartender was becoming for you friend. So of course this became the highlight of your evenings at the bar, watching to see who would slip first.  Poor Hailey was about as oblivious to the metaphorical torch that was being carried for her as always. 

 

You had your suspicions about Hailey’s own feelings, and nosy as you were would often poke her in private to try to get her to confess.  If not to the monster in question, then at least to you.

 

“I dunno….maybe…” was the most you could get out of her for the longest time, but the way she ducked her head with the smallest and most embarrassed smile, while adorable, told you all you needed to know.  So there were many a-nights when you would lean on the bar and waggle your eyebrows at her. Unfortunately, also around this time you noticed that Grillby wasn’t the only monster sweet on Hailey, and if you thought she was oblivious to the bartenders feelings, then she sure as hell didn’t even notice Sans’s.  

 

The more you hung out with your new friends, both in and out of the bar the more you noticed that Sans would smile just a little proudly when Hailey laughed at one of his jokes, or when his cheekbones would turn the slightest hue of blue when she would smile at him.  You weren’t really surprised, Hailey had always been a sweetheart and she had a way with making people feel wanted, but you had grown rather fond of the skeleton man, and it hurt to watch him watch the other two fall for each other. Sadly, there was only so much you and Kyle could do to lowkey distract him.  So you watched and waited.

 

When Grillby finally, and really you were getting a little impatient, asked her out on an actual date, your own eye had been on another common patron of the bar.  

 

You had noticed him some time ago, and he got along well with many of the monsters you had come to know.  His name was Tyler, you learned shortly after Hailey and Grillby started going steady, and he was sweet. He joined you at the bar one day after Sans had left early.  You were impressed with his care of the situation, he had thought you were involved with your boney friend and hadn’t wanted to impose. 

 

That made you choke on your drink.

 

If you were being honest the reason you hadn’t approached him in the first place was because you just really didn’t want to follow the same path you always had in your prior “relationships”.  Bed and bolt. That’s what it usually felt like. As soon as you let a guy into your bed it wasn’t long before they were gone. You were sick of it. Not that the sex was ever that bad really,  ~~ sometimes ~~ ~~,~~ and you really did quite enjoy a good ride, but putting any emotional investments into someone that invariably was going to bed and bolt as soon as you felt the relationship had a shot to go anywhere was...draining.  

 

Yet, over the course of the following weeks, and then months, Tyler never once brought up sex, and you let your guards down.  Maybe this could work.

 

And that was where you made your mistake.  As soon as you did, as soon as the two of you started taking things a little more seriously he asked to join you for the night.  You turned him down, and he shrugged and kissed you goodnight. 

 

Then it happened again.  And again. And a small kernel of dread grew in the pit of your stomach.  

 

In an attempt to head off any sort of miscommunication with him you decided to talk to him about why you just weren’t ready to sleep with him.  He listened, and he asked questions, and behind his eyes there was a flash of irritation and then nothing. He told you it was fine, that he understood and if it was really that important to you then he would stop asking, and you could tell him when you were ready.  Now ok, not to say the two of you never got frisky with each other. He was one helluva kisser and his body checked off almost everything on your list of skin deep desires, but you made sure it never went farther than that, and you were happy. 

 

He got along well with your friends, and even Sans had fun taking the mickey out of Tyler.  You honestly thought this was going to go somewhere, you really did. 

 

Some months after the conversation you had had with Tyler you decided you were tired of stopping the shenanigans early.  Let’s be real, if sexual frustration was a person it was you. So the night it all went to hell, was the night you were most looking forward to seeing him for dinner.

 

You left work, going to the store to pick up supplies for dinner and checking to make sure you had enough time before you saw him.  Well, you saw him, same as you saw the girl he was sucking face with outside the cafe next door. You stood there for a minute, just watching them and feeling that kernel of dread bloom into a soul squeezing thorny entanglement of loathing.  Mostly at him, but even more so at yourself. Your jaw was clenched so hard your teeth creaked.

 

You walked into the store, and bought supplies for dinner. 

 

When he arrived at your apartment, you were eating, and you had only made dinner for one.  

 

Tyler laughed, confused, and kissed you on the cheek while you chewed your food in silence.  You didn’t even breathe while his lips were on your skin, feeling yourself shut down a little.  Tyler seemed to notice something was off, because he looked at you for a moment before shrugging and straightened back up.  “Forget I was coming over tonight, babe?” he asked, walking to the kitchen to look for the food.

 

“No.  I didn’t.  I just decided you didn’t need food,” you said, slowly.

 

“You what?”  He was indignant.  You put your fork down, your stomach too knotted up for you to barely finish the bit of food in your mouth at the moment.

 

“I figured you ate enough at that cafe earlier; you certainly ate face enough.  I would like you to leave, and I would appreciate it if you didn’t bother me again.”  This was going good. Right? You were keeping calm, and you weren’t yelling, or crying.  

 

“I have no fucking clue what you are talking about!  What exactly are you accusing me of?” Tyler stepped up to the other side of the table, voice rising.  You couldn’t even look at him without feeling sick, and it took all your effort to not blame yourself.

 

“Don’t.  Just spare me the act,” you said.  Your voice cracked. Shit. “I saw you, I was right there going to pick up dinner.”  Your left hand was gripping the leg of your jeans and your knuckles were white. 

 

The longer you tried to stay calm, the more indignant he became.  He started saying how it was really your fault, how he wouldn’t have if you hadn’t been so uptight, and through his victimization of you for his actions you learned he’d been sleeping with that girl for a while now.  That was when you broke.

 

“Get the fuck out of my house!  Don’t talk to me, don’t come near me, just get. Out,” you said.  Your voice cracked and you pushed yourself up from the table. In seconds you had strode across the apartments and opened the door.

 

“Are you FUCKING kidding me?”  Tyler spat out, his back straightening.  For a moment you felt a flash of fear drive down your spine.  Was he going to hurt you? “Fuck you!” Then he walked through the door.

 

The second the door was closed you leaned against it and breathed out.  

 

It took you an hour to move from the door to your couch, and by then your food was so cold that even if you had any sort of appetite you probably wouldn’t have eaten it.  

 

Eventually you called Hailey and asked her to come over.  She didn’t even ask for what reason, and she was there within ten minutes.  You were pretty sure she sped. You were glad she did. 

 

At first she just sat with you, she didn’t press you for information, instead she just held you close to her side.  After a short while of silence, she turned on a comedy special, something to cure the silence. Whether or not her plan was to cheer you up with it, it did, enough that you chuckled and smiled more than you had since you left work that day.  When you made it through the special you sat in silence again, until you managed to tell her what you saw. 

 

Slowly and broken up with pained silences and bursts of angry ranting, you told her everything, and if ever you had a friend who was quick to righteous anger it was Hailey because by the time you were done she was enraged.

 

“I’M GOING TO ROAST HIS TESTICLES AND MAKE HIM EAT THEM! I SWEAR TO THE GODS ABOVE AND BELOW IMMA KICK HIS ASS!” Hailey shouted into the air, all but jumping from the couch to do that very thing.

 

“Then you’d have to torch the kitchen,” you said with a grin, loving her all the more.  She’d do it. Or at least threaten him with it, and that warmed your heart.

 

“Fuck,” she said.  “You’re right. No kitchen deserves that kind of abuse.”  You laughed and she smiled, nudging you with her shoulder.  “I’m sorry I didn’t see how sleazy he was before.” Oh no. You hugged her fiercely.

 

“Hey me too.  Don’t blame yourself, ok,” you said.  

 

“I’m not.  I just wish I could have spared you this.  You know I’m sure the boys would gladly go give him a scare.  I’ve never seen them mad before, I wonder how that would go.” She was talking about Grillby and Sans, and honestly, you were kind of curious yourself, but not that curious.  Yet.

 

You sat with her for a little while longer, making jokes about how exactly to make Tyler pay, and how much better off you were without him.  It didn’t take long before the cloud of pain began to descend upon you again, and Hailey saw it begin to overtake you. In a final attempt to distract you from the incident she pulled you from the couch and took you to the bar.  Sure you had memories there just as you did in your own place, but at the very least you had friends there that could help keep your mind busy. Anything that got you away from your apartment for a while was more than enough.

 

When you got there, your friends quickly picked up that something was wrong.  Sans kicked your stool out for you and was about to ask where Tyler was when he saw your eyes dim and your shoulders tense up in preparation to hear his name.  He stopped mid sentence and slid you his drink. You downed it in one go and he raised a bone brow at you, then looked at Hailey. Whatever look she gave him was enough to keep him from asking you what had happened.  She left to find Grillby at the end of the bar to fill him in and get the both of you new drinks. While she was gone you told Sans yourself what had happened, not once looking up from the now empty glass you held. 

 

“shit,” he said.  “what a fuckin trash pile, good thing you  _ dumped _ him.”  You looked up at him with your brow creased.  Did he really? “i heard cheat-ahs were an endangered species, clearly he didn’t get the memo since you made an ex-ample out of him.”  You face palmed. “in all fairness, he really didn’t realize how lucky he was,” Sans said more seriously. You peeled your hand from your face and smiled at him.  Before you could thank him, he launched into a fifteen minute roast of Tyler using jokes that increased in lewdness and vaguely promised violence towards the human male and by the end of it you couldn’t take any sips from your drink for fear of choking on it.

 

Finally, he stopped and you rubbed at your eyes. For a moment you felt like everything was alright again and Sans could tell, as he was grinning triumphantly.  Yet, as with all fresh wounds, the pain always comes back, and your smile faded from your face and you busied yourself with your drink. Beside you your friend sighed.  He leaned over and gave you a half hug around the shoulders.

 

“we’ll get through this, one way or another,” he said, lifting his own drink in solidarity before letting you go.  

 

Together the two of you drank in silence while Hailey tried to liven the situation back up, finally managing to engage the two of you in conversation over a topic as far from Tyler as she could and one she was well versed in.  Cooking. More importantly, the mischief her boss had caused in the kitchen at work that day. She was trying so hard to get you out of your head, and you felt bad that you kind of just wanted to wallow for a while so your responses were half assed and a little empty.  Eventually she stood up from the bar, a little tipsy, and said she was going to go to the ladies room. She hugged you and squeezed Sans’s shoulder as she passed, and when she was out of sight you watched Sans’s face fall. 

 

He looked how you felt, the poor guy.  If only he had a way to distract himself from his own pain of liking his best friend's girl.  If only you had a way to distract yourself from your own….no. You must have had more to drink than you thought, because the thought that just crossed your mind was not one you ever expected to have.  You pushed it aside and rubbed your eyes, but the longer you tried to ignore it the more prominently the idea played around in your head. The more you thought about it, the more enticing it became, until you were looking at Sans curiously and finishing your drink to give you the liquid courage to ask what you wanted to actually ask.

 

“Hey, Sans.”

 

“hmm? wassup buddy,” he said,  turning to look at you, leaning on the bartop.

 

“I have a...uh….shall we say proposition for you,” you said. You chewed on your lip from a moment, peeling a small strip of skin from it in your stall for time.

 

“o...kay?”  He raised his bone brows and waited with amusement.  “whatchu got for me?”

 

“I need a distraction - want… a distraction, and honestly I think we could both use one.  I was wondering if we could distract each other.” As soon as you said it, you wondered if you should have just kept your mouth shut.  Instead, you looked at him seriously, and as soon as he realized what you were saying his eye sockets widened almost impossibly large. 

 

“what?”

 

“No strings, no expectations, just friends helping friends and having a good time,” you said.  Beyond Sans you saw Hailey returning from the restroom. He followed your gaze and then turned back to you.  You could almost see the gears working in his head. “Or not, but offer stands. I think I’m going to head home before I end up sloshed.”  Ok yes, you were feeling self conscious and you were one hundred percent running away from the situation you had created. No shame.  ~~Maybe one shame.~~  

 

As soon as Hailey got close you headed her off and told her you were going to catch a cab home.  She looked a little put out, but after you reassured her that she had really helped you, and truthfully she had, she smiled and said she would wait with you outside for the cab.  

 

Sans said nothing as you left, he barely even looked at you, and you were damn near certain you had just fucked up.

 

A couple hours later while you laid in bed and watched mindless videos on youtube, your phone screen lit up with a text from Sans.  It read, “deal”.

 

He didn’t stay the night, but you slept better than you expected to after the day you had.

  
  
  
  
  



	2. Let’s Agree to Not Become a Cliche

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “did you just kinkshame me?”
> 
> “Is your dick blue?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Seriously thank you Whisper, Vamp, and Em for beta reading. Your comments on these chapters had me rolling!

It was about two months into yours and Sans’s arrangement and to say that the two of you were enjoying spending time together was the understatement of the year. Currently you were at Sans’s apartment, playing him in a game you had finally convinced him to try out a few weeks ago so when he finished the campaign you could challenge him in the versus mode.  Much to his chagrin you were kicking his ass. Days spent like this, where the two of you just hung out were not as uncommon as they used to be, especially if you slept over like you had the night before.

 

It wasn’t like you had intended to sleep over, really, more for Paps’ sake than anyone else's, but one thing led to another and then Papyrus returned home and insisted you stay for dinner, and then a movie, and then you were passed out on the couch.  You woke up in Sans’s room, your bone friend passed out beside you. You shoved him off the bed when he almost rolled on top of you with a muttered comment of “ge’off me fucker”, come to find out that he wasn’t quite asleep by the way he started laughing and then swore.  He managed to pull you down with him while also managing to call you an asshole, to which you hit him over the head with his pillow after reaching around blindly for it from atop him. Needless to say actually getting up that morning was a much longer affair than expected.  Now he was currently accusing you of cheating in the game.

 

“stop usin’ that fuckin’ move, it’s cheating!”  Sans said, kicking at you from across the couch.

 

“Dude, the only one cheating here is you,” you said, “cheating death! You know it’s only a matter of time before I wreck your ass again!”  You were pushed into the arm of the couch as he tried to knock the controller loose in your hands. A buzzing sound pulled your attention down to the phone in your lap and in that moment Sans got the upperhand.  “Ah! You sonuvabitch! Stop for a second!” After reading the text you’d gotten you fired off a quick reply, while keeping your controller out of Sans’s reach so he couldn’t unpause the game. “Kyle got food poisoning, he’s not gonna be able to meet us at the movies.”

 

“well shit,” Sans said.

 

“What do y-”

 

“WHILE I’M REALLY QUITE GLAD THAT THE TWO OF YOU HAVE BECOME SUCH GOOD FRIENDS, I DO HOPE YOU DON’T PLAN TO LAZE AROUND ALL DAY BROTHER.  IT IS YOUR TURN TO WASH THE DISHES AFTER ALL, AND TAKE OUT THE TRASH,” Papyrus said. He was on his way out for the day and only sighed when Sans gave him a half assed assurance that he would do his chores, and closed the door.

 

You knew that Papyrus knew, you knew that Sans knew that Papyrus knew, but none of you brought it up with each other.  Well, neither you nor Sans brought it up with Papyrus that was, but you also weren’t blind to the taller skeleton’s not so subtle attempts at getting the two of you to let slip what exactly it was that was going on.  Now, Papyrus wasn’t the only one curious about how much closer you and Sans had gotten over the recent months, but he was the only one that was unfortunate enough to share a wall with his brother.

 

So, yes, you and Sans had grown closer in more than one way, clearly, but while the sex was actually pretty great you had come to realize that it wasn’t really just the sex that you enjoyed.  The simple act of finding physical comfort and release in each other did wonders to soothe your soul. It was relieving, too, that as time went on the two of you spent more time just talking. Being comfortable enough with each other to do the kinds of things you did made it a whole lot easier to just accept that the two of you were comfortable with each other period.  The times that Sans spent at your apartment didn’t always mean sex was imminent. More often than not the two of you would just spend time hanging out. Movies, games, bad food and even worse jokes. Nothing felt forced, even the days when one of you weren’t quite in the mood for sex there were times when you just agreed to do something else instead.

 

On the other side of this, the more intimate and rather fun side, were the times when you and Sans were very much in the mood.  There were times when you would come home from work frustrated, sometimes sexually from a tasty fic you’d read at lunch, or just frustrated in general and text Sans.  After a few times of this happening, not that he ever complained, he would jokingly ask what could have possibly brought this on this time. You didn’t have a problem telling him, especially when his mouth and fingers were doing wonders to melt the tension from your body.  Not that either of you were really in a conversational mood for long during these times, but you also learned quite a bit about each other when you were. About each other in many, many ways.

 

In all your sexually active relationships before you had to say that your experiences were really quite vanilla compared to the things you and Sans tried together.  It wasn’t like either of you were really kinky in one regard or another, but it was fun, and you also had to say you’d never had sex with someone else and laughed so hard you nearly had to stop.  Food play turned food fight. Rope play that turned into a really bad re-enactment of a scene from the most recent B list movie, and not even to be sexy. More than once did Sans make lightsaber dick jokes after the two of you had watched Star Wars together.

 

All in all, you really couldn’t complain with how things were going.  Hailey, after figuring out what was going on, once asked you how you really felt about where you and Sans were at and if you really didn’t mind that he might actually find someone to get serious with.  You didn’t have the chance to answer before Sans walked up and pointed out someone you’d mentioned finding attractive during one of your most recent forays, and asked you if you wanted a wingman. Hailey just kind of stared at you after that and didn’t bring it up again.  Unfortunately you didn’t get anywhere with that particular hottie, but Sans did and walked away with a phone number. The resulting fit of laughter you shared when you had returned to the bar even made Grillby raise an eyebrow, to which Hailey just shrugged in defeat.

 

Time rather blurred together, you honestly wouldn’t remember when this all started if it wasn’t the same night of your breakup, but you did get to a point where you had to do some mental math to figure it out.  Not that it was really that long, but you were probably in the best place you had ever been for quite some time. At the very least you had more good days than bad, and that was a plus all in and of itself. It also wasn’t as easy to just tank your mood when you’d had a particularly good day.

 

Easy doesn’t mean impossible though, and you learned that fact with a sinking feeling in your gut when you saw Tyler as you left the restroom at Grillby’s.  It had been some time since he had shown his face there and you had foolishly thought he never would. Any hope you had of walking past him unhindered was dashed when his eyes cut to you with a determined look of sheer superiority.  

 

You had about ten seconds before he reached you and you knew you didn’t have a chance at escaping into the crowd near the bar fast enough.  

 

Five seconds.  

 

Three Seconds.

 

And then Sans appeared next to you and grabbed your arm.  He turned you towards him, winking at you just before he pulled you close and captured your mouth with his.  It wasn’t like you and Sans hadn’t kissed before, but never outside of sex, and you froze. In that moment of your paralysis you saw Tyler stop dead in his tracks from your peripherals and you giggled, wrapping your arms around Sans’s neck.  You leaned into the kiss, allowing your eyes to close and you could feel him smiling against your lips. For a moment, Sans’s grip on you tightened, pulling you closer and something warm started to bloom in your chest, something you honestly hadn’t felt in a very long time, but then one of Sans’s arms shifted from around your waist and you heard the distinct sound of Tyler making a disgusted noise and walking away.  You knew without even having to look that Sans had flipped him off and you started to laugh, breaking the kiss in the process and distracting yourself from that feeling in your chest that was quickly fading.

 

“My hero~” you sang when you’d gotten your breath back, falling backwards into Sans’s arms as dramatically as possible.

 

“heh, now we both know by now i’m no knight in shining armor,” Sans said, pushing you to stand upright.

 

“So overrated.  Where’s the stories where the princess runs off with the monster instead?” you asked, leading the two of you back to the bar and the others.  Sans snorted.

 

“you mean like Shrek?” he asked.  You shoved him.

 

“Not quite,” you said.

 

“somethin you wanna tell me, kid?”  Sans poked your side and you huffed, swatting at him.  

 

“Clearly, isn’t it obvious?”  You made a face at him, daring him to follow that rabbit hole.

 

“heh, clearly you’re a dirty monster fucker, kiddo,” he said without missing a beat and took his seat at the bar.

 

“I didn’t hear you complaining last night, besides,” you smirked, taking your own seat and waving down Grillby, “everyone knows you only fuck humans because the most meat you’ve ever had are the hotdogs in your stand.”  You smiled sweetly at your bone friend and then up at Grillby who was struggling to keep his composure and took your order with a wave of his hand. Sans on the other hand was staring at you.

 

“did you just kinkshame me?”

 

“Is your dick blue?”

 

“Dear gods,” Grillby said, shoulders shaking with suppressed laughter.

 

“Sorry Grillby,” you said, snickering and ignoring the look of promised revenge on Sans’s face.

  
  


Sans’s revenge came swiftly in the form of him donning the enormous rainbow afro and clown nose you had bought him to antagonize Papyrus with before you turned back around on the bed to change positions.  He didn’t even have time to say anything before you started cackling, telling him to take that damn thing off. 

 

The shit eating grin on his face told you very clearly that he would not.  You just couldn’t take him seriously and your previously planned programming quickly got tossed out the window in favor of making his outfit as ridiculous as possible.

  
  


~~~   
  
Something changed in your dynamic with Sans not long after that, almost like the first domino in a set toppling over, sending the entire carefully placed row crashing to the table.  You always did find the sound of falling dominoes quite nice though.

  
  
  
  


You didn’t get sick often, not like this.  Colds with coughs? Sure. Sinus infections?  Oh, of course. Stomach flu with a fever? HA! Not since you were a kid.  You counted yourself very lucky, nausea was something you were intimately familiar with, it just rarely got this bad.

 

Sometime around three in the morning you woke up, confused as to why you were awake, and then launched yourself to the bathroom.  There you had stayed until the sun rose and you no longer had anything to lose, so you could move to the couch, trash can in hand.

 

For hours you sat on the couch, stomach too tender to lay down, but exhaustion too strong to keep you upright.  Every time you shifted on the couch you grimaced. It wasn’t even just that your stomach felt like someone had hoovered it and it was rebelling against the intrusion, but your body ached, your head hurt and you were somewhere between begging the gods to let this pass and cursing them for even letting this happen in the first place.  Finally though, you fell asleep. 

 

That was where Sans found you, fetal position on the couch, under 3 blankets with the AC blasting and your little trash can clasped loosely in your hand, held  against the couch. The two of you were supposed to be playing your new game together today, and it was already two in the afternoon.

 

Your eyes opened blearly at the sensation of someone pushing your matted hair out of your face.

 

“hey kiddo, you alright?”  It was Sans. You didn’t respond.  “yknow, you had me worried. didn’t answer your phone,” oh yea, it was still in your room, “didn’t answer the door either,” he said.  “you look like shit.” At this you stuck your tongue out at him, not trusting the roll of your stomach to speak just yet. He chuckled and took a seat on the ground next to the couch.  “have you managed to eat anything?” You shook your head slightly. “drink anything?” You shook your head again. 

 

He sighed, a small smile on his face adding to the concern that was creasing his brow.  

 

Sans sat with you in silence until you managed to tell him that he didn’t have to be here while you were like this.  His response was that since you were well enough to talk, you were well enough to drink something. After you’d successfully sat up and managed to keep down some water, he brought you some ginger tea and a pack of crackers.  It was clear he wasn’t leaving, and you were glad even if you felt bad, but you hadn’t even asked him to stay and yet here he was. So you ate a few crackers and you sipped at the tea. The easiest way you could think to show your appreciation was to make an effort.

 

You dozed after that, vaguely aware of the times when Sans checked your temperature while you used his lap as a pillow.  Well used a pillow on his lap as a pillow. Before you could fall asleep though, he managed to get you up and into bed, but beyond that you didn’t really remember much else between then and when you woke up late in the night.

 

The first thing you noticed was that your stomach, tender as it was, was not as bad as it had been and it felt incredibly hollow.  The second thing you noticed was the arm draped over your waist and the warm, boney body of Sans curled around you from behind. 

 

_ Had he stayed with you the entire time? _

 

The answer?  Was yes. When you woke him up, confused, he just grinned at you while checking your temperature with the back of his hand, not even sitting up in the bed.  

 

“hey, don’t give me that look. you’re the one who wouldn’t let me go when i got you into bed and asked me to stay,” he said and pulled his hand back from your forehead with a cheeky grin.  “fever’s gone down, that’s good.” 

 

“I did what?”

  
  


After that day, it became increasingly common for the two of you to just sleep together without sleeping together.  There was a need the two of you just hadn’t spoken about, that need for warmth and companionship without expectations.  A physical need that went beyond sex and was at the same time both more and less intimate than sex. Yes, you had moments where you wondered exactly what your relationship with Sans was, but in the end you always found yourself back at the same conclusion: you were friends, friends who never expected more from the other than what they could give.  

 

That was how it was between you two.  Until the one year anniversary of Hailey’s graduation.

  
  


Everyone had been invited to the resort where she worked.  Thanks to it being the off season and Hailey’s camaraderie with her boss the lot of you had been given rooms for the weekend and an open invitation to the facilities.  The week leading up to the mini vaca you exclaimed over and over your awe of disbelief that she had swung such an amazing allowance for everyone, even as you and Hailey were unpacking your bags in the large suite the two of you had claimed.  She would only laugh and wave you off saying it was just her luck that her boss was as nice as he was. Sans had been quick to tell you that there was always an ulterior motive to gestures like these from this particular monster. Hailey refused to believe it.  She refused to believe it up until the five of you were eating dinner that first night and you got to meet her boss in person. 

 

Mettaton, the flamboyantly dramatic monster himself.  

 

The plates had just arrived and you were in the middle of sticking your fork into Kyle’s food, from across the table, and much to his amused displeasure, when the entire restaurant went quiet.  Quiet and dark save for a dim ambient light and a spot light,  ~~ why did this place have a spotlight in the restaurant ??? ~~ , that flashed into existence, illuminating Mettaton who was now standing in the middle of the restaurant.  

 

“What the fu-” you were cut off.

 

“Dear friends, family, fans,” Mettaton said, sweeping his arms out around him.  “I certainly hope you are enjoying yourselves this evening!” A cheer ran through the room and you looked at Hailey.

 

“Does he always do this?” you asked.  She shook her head, confusion written all over her face.

 

“Of COURSE you are darlings, only the best for you!”  Mettaton smiled, bowing at the second wave of cheers and applause.  “Speaking of the best, a very special person is here with us tonight, someone whom I have the pleasure of calling a very dear friend.”  Normally, an announcement like that would sound warm, and yet somehow it sounded like an overly dramatized line from a soap opera. “I’ve known her for about a year now, and truly her talent is beyond compare.”

 

“Oh no,” Hailey said.  One look, even in this dim lighting showed how the laughter drained from her face.

 

“heh, told ya,” Sans said.  Grillby just patted her arm, laughing quietly.  Mettaton swept down the restaurant towards the table your group was seated at, the spotlight following him perfectly.  When he reached Hailey his smile grew larger and he place his hand on her shoulder.

 

“Hailey, having you in my life has been a blessing.  Truly you have such a kind Soul, such warmth about you,” Mettaton said, ignoring Sans’s snicker.  “Why, even when you reprimanded me for my lack of thought about my employees, or my, as you put it, lack of culinary taste-”   
  
“You didn’t!” you whispered loudly.

 

“You were never rude, and you were always willing to help those around you learn and understand, help them better themselves, and not just me darling.”  The robot star didn’t even seem to notice how red Hailey had become, and how hard she was trying not to bolt. He took her hand warmly. “Your own talent has become one of high note and higher value, and your infinite modesty in spite of the praise you receive is truly a highlight of this resort.”  If Hailey had told Mettaton to his face that he had no culinary taste, you had a feeling she was going to let loose exactly how uncomfortable she was right now the next time she saw him behind the walls of the kitchen, because the next thing he did was take a knee beside her chair. A quiet murmur of shock rippled through the deathly silent room and a much sharper, much louder pop of flames reminded you that Grillby was sitting beside her, not that Sans’s muttering of “oh shit” and Kyle’s of “no fucking way” didn’t do that just as well.  And yet, Mettaton gave not a glance in any of your directions.

 

Your eyes were glued on the scene before you, on Hailey mouthing the words “don’t you dare” to her boss, and the wink he gave her in return.  

 

“My dear, sweet Hailey, would you do me the greatest honor,” Mettaton said, pausing for what could only be described as dramatic suspense, “of becoming my head chef?”  He pulled out an overly glittered chef’s hat from some compartment within his chest and you reached over to grip Sans’s arm to keep yourself from laughing. 

 

Grillby immediately relaxed, switching from tension to amusement in the blink of an eye, and Hailey, well she had covered her eyes with her hands in exasperation.  

 

“God dammit,” she said softly.

 

“Well?”  Mettaton asked, waiting for her answer.

 

“Agh, gods, yes alright yes,” Hailey said, “now would you please-”

 

“SHE SAID YES!”  Mettaton jumped up and the room erupted into cheers.  He stuck the glittery mess of a hat on Hailey’s head and patted her cheek fondly before making as large an exit as he had an entrance, turning back once to tell her to enjoy her weekend and he would see her again on Monday, and then turning back again to thank everyone for being witness to such a momentous occasion.

 

“Don’t you say a word,” Hailey said, face red and eyes narrowed.  She pointed at each person at the table individually until they each put their hands up in surrender.

 

“What if I said three words?”  Kyle asked, cheekily.

 

“That was six.”  Grillby pointed out, not even bothering to keep a straight face anymore.

 

“Eh, close enough,” Kyle said with a shrug.  Hailey pelted both of them with green beans.

  
  


Dinner never really calmed back down after that.  Random guests of the resort, some who weren’t even in the restaurant at the time of the show, arrived at the table to congratulate Hailey.  You got through a little over half of your food before you had to stop, or risk choking from laughing at the ridiculousness of the situation.  At that point Hailey just gave up and told everyone to meet her out on the beach before she disappeared into the kitchen.

 

Sans patted Grillby on the arm when she was gone and the four of you were leaving the restaurant.  

 

“you looked ‘bout ready to blow there for a second,” he said, snickering.

 

“Yes, well…”  Grillby cleared his throat.

 

“Afraid you might have had some competition there, hotrod?”  Kyle asked and you coughed.

 

“Is that what she calls it?! Please tell me that’s what she calls it!”  You said, biting your lip and grinning.

 

“Don’t start th-”

 

“that’s what i called it,”  Sans said, straight faced, and if Grillby hadn’t face palmed harder than Hailey had at dinner you had a feeling Sans wouldn’t have broken down laughing.

 

Hailey ran up to the group, the glittery chef’s hat still atop her head, before you could take the joke further, she was carrying a couple bottles of champagne.  “I need a drink,” was all she said on the matter.

 

Hours passed where the lot of you drained the bottles of champagne and then some, until you were nearly too blitzed to tell yourself that driving home was a bad idea.  Something you said out loud, only for Kyle, who was just if not more drunk than you to agree, and Sans to say you were both stupid because you can’t drive into a hotel.  Then you remembered you had a room here and “oh good, that means I don’t have to worry about getting another drink.” Not that you actually ever got up to get that extra drink, since you quickly forgot about it to join in on the conversation about how one would get their car successfully to one’s room.

 

The conversation somehow went from driving a car through a hotel hallway to the likelihood of modern cryptids being discovered as just regular monsters that prefer to be left alone.  At this point Hailey was at her wits end and stood up, pulling Grillby up with her and bidding everyone a good night. When you told her you’d see her in a bit she raised her eyebrows at you and you snickered, then you said you would see her in the morning.  Sans glanced up to say good night, and winked at Grillby, leaning hard on the “good” portion of good night, before turning back to you, smile as carefree as it had been all day.

 

Kyle left shortly after that and after a little while longer of sitting on the sand you asked Sans if he wanted to go to bed.  

 

The two of you entered your room, holding onto each other, laughing and shooshing each other.  You think you had started laughing at a joke he had said, but it also could have just been the fact that you missed a step and nearly fell on the landing to the floor your room was on, but then it just ended up with you laughing, and Sans laughing, and then you laughing because he was laughing, and then laughing because you couldn’t shoosh him properly.  As soon as you closed the door you didn’t bother shooshing him anymore, and laughed until you settled into periodic giggles. 

 

Without even thinking you crossed the room to your bed and overnight bag and stripped out of your clothes, leaving yourself in your underthings when you flopped onto the bed.  You turned your head to look at Sans who had a bone brow raised and had his elbows on his knees and his head on his hands while he sat cross legged next to you.

 

“comfortable?” he asked.  Your response was to strip off your bra and slip on your pyjamas smugly and say “Yes, yes I am.”  

 

For a moment, the look Sans was giving you made your smirk soften, and then he leaned forward to kiss you... and missed his hand placement on the bed. He slipped, collapsing on top of you and then slipped again trying to push himself up.  You were laughing too hard to help much, only managing to roll him off of your chest until he was using your stomach for a pillow.

 

“well that didn’t work,” he said.  You haphazardly papped his face all over in a shoddy excuse for sympathy.

 

“Do you ever?”

 

“not if i can help it.”  Sans chuckled and shifted and wiggled until he was lying next to you in the bed.

 

“You are so not sleeping in that,” you said, tugging on his shirt, his new shirt that had somehow gained a ketchup stain within two minutes of dinner.

 

“‘m not?” he asked, shit eating grinning plastered on his face.

 

“Not even a little bit.” 

 

“not even a little bit huh?”  He gave you a look and peeled his shirt off, getting stuck for a good fifteen seconds before dropping it on your face. Then before you could throw it at him his pants hit your face as well.   
  
“When I said I wanted to get in your pants I didn’t mean literally OH MY GOD!”  You had thrown Sans’s clothes off of you in time to see that his boxers read “bone zone” all over them.  

 

“heh, thought you’d get a kick outta them,” he said, moving to take them off as well. 

 

“What are you doing?”

 

“you said not even a little bit-”

 

“You know that’s not what I meant you bastard,” you said, “and those are fucking amazing, why didn’t I think of getting those?!”

 

“for who?” Sans had already stopped faking removing his boxers and was settling back down next to you.

 

“Me, clearly, I’d make those look good.”

 

“and I don’t?”  Sans asked, pretending to be offended,

 

“Oh honey,” you teased.  His retaliation was to tickle your side until you curled into a ball and tapped out, after which he pulled you up into his arms and settled the two of you under the covers.  You still stuck your tongue out at him, but there was no malice.

 

Up until you fell asleep the two of you watched the marathon of terrible sci fi movies that often ran on the weekend.  After a while you fell silent, content to be held as the alcohol in your system faded and you felt exhaustion overtake you.

  
  


The next morning you woke up, mouth gross as hell and head pounding, but you were happy regardless.  You’d slept well, and waking up with Sans’s arms around you made you smile. Then you froze. That thought running on repeat in your mind.  

 

Waking up next to Sans made you happy.  

 

The more you thought about it, the more you realized that it had for a while, the more you tried to remember the last time you hadn’t wanted to just spend time with him without any thoughts to sex or what you could get from him.  The more you tried to figure that out the more you realized that it wasn’t just that waking up beside him, or spending time with him made you happy, but knowing you’d made his day better made your day better. The more you thought about that, the more you realized how easy everything was with him, how comfortable you were with him, the more all the little things you never thought of or noticed before flitted through your mind.

 

You feigned sleep, feeling your heart pick up speed just a little and your stomach flip as you realized that the skeleton man beside you made you inexplicably happy.

 

Unbeknownst to you, while you pretended to be asleep as the reality of your feelings for Sans crashed around you, Sans was also pretending to be asleep.  He had woken up, nuzzling into your back and had taken a deep breath to try to clear his head. It didn’t help. The same thoughts he had had last night, ones he thought were merely alcohol induced, were still there, and they were loud.  It took a lot of effort for him to not move, to not pull you closer to him knowing what he knew now, what he hadn’t seen for months, what now felt painfully obvious.

 

The two of you continued to lie there, each pretending to still be asleep, hungover as hell, and smiling while you thought about the other


End file.
